Two, vulnerability is a myth. The Course says, "In my defenselessness my safety lies." (OrEd.WkBk.153) So if there's nothing to defend ourselves against how can we possibly be vulnerable? We are just simply sharing freely the beautiful, individualized curriculum we are all experiencing. I'm so grateful we have a community that gets that. We can just talk about what's going on freely and know that's what we're supposed to do. Right? We can love ourselves and we are free to love everyone who stands in front of us. Thank God. Thank you, Rev. Roxie, for teaching me that.
Three, don't let your job get in the way of your job. (laughter) She came out of "the closet" as saying it appears I'm teaching science to seventh-graders when in fact I'm teaching them how to love themselves. What a valuable, valuable thing that is! It really made me understand very clearly that as a Teacher of God it doesn't matter what we appear to do professionally. It's a way of being, a way to stand in the world. It is a commitment to practice, to the best of our ability, to remember our innocence so that we can extend that to our brothers and sisters, so we can truly see the face of Christ in whoever stands in front of us.
One of the things I thought about is that we sometimes trade our false perception of who we think we are and later we begin to accept that we are love. A Course In Miracles says throughout the book that we are love. There is no other description — just the word "love." Mistaken self identity is always in the form of fear or terror. Our true nature is unchangeable. Sometimes, something turns up and we go to some fearful moment in our past, emotionally, and then all of a sudden we relive it. We say "yes" to it. But, if we say "No I'll change my thought about this," change my mind — we are practicing the principles of A Course In Miracles. If I had to say one thing about what the Course has taught me, it is that I always have the freedom to change my mind. I don't even know if I want to claim it as "my mind." I think it's the "collective mind" out there. We're all in this together. The more of us who are willing to change our mind about the world we see, the more it will effect change in the world we see.
Guilt is always totally insane — always — never sometimes. A Course In Miracles tells us, "I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt." (OrEd.WkBk.284) Not just this thought, but all thoughts that hurt. The Course also tells us that love and guilt cannot coexist. Guilt is definitely disruptive. The end of guilt will come only when we release from blame: when we release ourselves from blame, when we release our partners from blame, when we release each other from blame, or even a stranger on the street who dresses a certain way or their hair looks a certain way. We can send them blessings too.
First of all, the whole idea of a "birthday" is rather strange. It's so arbitrary. It's always just an odd moment. I don't feel there's any real significance to the day itself. It's all arbitrary. It only means what we have decided to put on to it. My birthday is just a now moment in my eternal life. It really has just the meaning I want to put on it, which is actually a great thing. So let's put some good meaning on birthday, on my birthday.
There also were some other things that came into my mind. I am 63 years old, at least that's what the world tells me I am. June 7, 1952 is on my birth certificate. At 63 you get confronted with, or I have been confronted with, these thoughts. I like to call them "thought forms." I picked that term up in some other discipline. I don't really know where that term comes from. There are these thoughts that seem to exist out here in the world. They actually exist within the mind. They are thoughts that have been reinforced a lot, by countless people. So they have a certain strength; they have a certain spin, a gravity. They take on a life all their own, a form of their own. That's what I mean by a "thought form." It isn't just a random thought. It's a whole spin; it's a whole orbit of thoughts. It's almost like an entity. When you turn 63, or as you get a little older, you walk right into these thought forms and you just start spinning with them. It takes a little while to realize what has happened. They're strong and they're hard to fight! They're hard to walk away from. The thought form about "you're getting older" (laughter) – you have the things happening to you that happen to people when they get older – it's a challenge.
The ego is the better than, worse than roller coaster. Am I better than someone or worse than someone? What I've come to realize, and what Jeshua is asking me to do, is to join him. I need to thank him for being my teacher, to honor that he's been a great teacher, and he has. However, now it's time for me to join him as his colleague, because he's not going to wake me up. He can't. I have to wake myself up. I have to have my own awakening, and I can't get it out there. I've finally figured that out. There's no external salvation. It's me and a lot of dialogue with him. It's inner dialogue with this Self from whom I've been hiding, that I've been running from, that I've been doubting. I've been thinking I am not God's Son, but I've been mistaken. I've been afraid of what I am. I've been afraid of what my ego made of me. The Art of Thought (This is a chapter in *A Course of Love*, Book 2) has given me a new way to deal with that.
What's going on is Love is being extended by Creation. That's all that's happening here. Love is being extended by Creation. And that's all Love. It calls for a response. But, because we're cut off from our heart fear reacts to that. What does the ego do with that? I had to write this down. (Rev. Roxie looks at her notes.) It struggles. It requires effort. It tries to control. It tries to protect. Sometimes it just shuts down and runs from Love or hides from it. The ego does all kinds of crazy, mixed up, wacked out, insane stuff. To this, Love is saying, "Here's Love. Here's Creation loving you."